The Fritz Leiber Megapack Read online

  * * * *

  Pop could talk forever, apparently, about murder and murderers and he had a bottomless bag of funny stories on the same topic and character vignettes—the murderers who were forever wanting their victims to understand and forgive them, the ones who thought of themselves as little kings with divine rights of dispensing death, the ones who insisted on laying down (chastely) beside their finished victims and playing dead for a couple of hours, the ones who weren’t so chaste, the ones who could only do their killings when they were dressed a certain way (and the troubles they had with their murder costumes), the ones who could only kill people with certain traits or of a certain appearance (red-heads, say, or people who read books, or who couldn’t carry tunes, or who used bad language), the ones who always mixed sex and murder and the ones who believed that murder was contaminated by the least breath of sex, the sticklers and the Sloppy Joes, the artists and the butchers, the ax- and stiletto-types, the compulsives and the repulsives—honestly, Pop’s portraits from life added up to a Dance of Death as good as anything the Middle Ages ever produced and they ought to have been illustrated like those by some great artist. Pop told us a lot about his own killings too. Alice and me was interested, but neither of us wasn’t tempted into making parallel revelations about ourselves. Your private life’s your own business, I felt, as close as your guts, and no joke’s good enough to justify revealing a knot of it.

  Not that we talked about nothing but murder while we were bulleting along toward Atla-Hi. The conversation was free-wheeling and we got onto all sorts of topics. For instance, we got to talking about the plane and how it flew itself—or levitated itself, rather. I said it must generate an antigravity field that was keyed to the body of the plane but nothing else, so that we didn’t feel lighter, nor any of the objects in the cabin—it just worked on the dull silvery metal—and I proved my point by using Mother to shave a little wisp of metal off the edge of the control board. The curlicue stayed in the air wherever you put it and when you moved it you could feel the faintest sort of gyroscopic resistance. It was very strange.

  Pop pointed out it was a little like magnetism. A germ riding on an iron filing that was traveling toward the pole of a big magnet wouldn’t feel the magnetic pull—it wouldn’t be operating on him, only on the iron—but just the same the germ’d be carried along with the filing and feel its acceleration and all, provided he could hold on—but for that purpose you could imagine a tiny cabin in the filing. “That’s what we are,” Pop added. “Three germs, jumbo size.”

  Alice wanted to know why an antigravity plane should have even the stubbiest wings or a jet for that matter, for we remembered now we’d noticed the tubes, and I said it was maybe just a reserve system in case the antigravity failed and Pop guessed it might be for extra-fast battle maneuvering or even for operating outside the atmosphere (which hardly made sense, as I proved to him).

  “If we’re a battle plane, where’s our guns?” Alice asked. None of us had an answer.

  We remembered the noise the plane had made before we saw it. It must have been using its jets then. “And do you suppose,” Pop asked, “that it was something from the antigravity that made electricity flare out of the top of the cracking plant? Like to have scared the pants off me!” No answer to that either.

  Now was a logical time, of course, to ask Pop what he knew about the cracking plant and just who had done the scream if not him, but I figured he still wouldn’t talk; as long as we were acting friendly there was no point in spoiling it.

  * * * *

  We guessed around a little, though, about where the plane came from. Pop said Alamos, I said Atla-Hi, Alice said why not from both, why couldn’t Alamos and Atla-Hi have some sort of treaty and the plane be traveling from the one to the other. We agreed it might be. At least it fitted with the Atla-Hi violet and the Alamos blue being brighter than the other colors.

  “I just hope we got some sort of anti-collision radar,” I said. I guessed we had, because twice we’d jogged in our course a little, maybe to clear the Alleghenies. The easterly green star was by now getting pretty close to the violet blot of Atla-Hi. I looked out at the orange soup, which was one thing that hadn’t changed a bit so far, and I got to wishing like a baby that it wasn’t there and to thinking how it blanketed the whole Earth (stars over the Riviera?—don’t make me laugh!) and I heard myself asking, “Pop, did you rub out that guy that pushed the buttons for all this?”

  “Nope,” Pop answered without hesitation, just as if it hadn’t been four hours or so since he’d mentioned the point. “Nope, Ray. Fact is I welcomed him into our little fellowship about six months back. This is his knife here, this horn-handle in my boot, though he never killed with it. He claimed he’d been tortured for years by the thought of the millions and millions he’d killed with blast and radiation, but now he was finding peace at last because he was where he belonged, with the murderers, and could start to do something about it. Several of the boys didn’t want to let him in. They claimed he wasn’t a real murderer, doing it by remote control, no matter how many he bumped off.”

  “I’d have been on their side,” Alice said, thinning her lips.

  “Yep,” Pop continued, “they got real hot about it. He got hot too and all excited and offered to go out and kill somebody with his bare hands right off, or try to (he’s a skinny little runt), if that’s what he had to do to join. We argued it over, I pointed out that we let ex-soldiers count the killings they’d done in service, and that we counted poisonings and booby traps and such too—which are remote-control killings in a way—so eventually we let him in. He’s doing good work. We’re fortunate to have him.”

  “Do you think he’s really the guy who pushed the buttons?” I asked Pop.

  “How should I know?” Pop replied. “He claims to be.”

  I was going to say something about people who faked confessions to get a little easy glory, as compared to the guys who were really guilty and would sooner be chopped up than talk about it, but at that moment a fourth voice started talking in the plane. It seemed to be coming out of the violet patch on the North America screen. That is, it came from the general direction of the screen at any rate and my mind instantly tied it to the violet patch at Atla-Hi. It gave us a fright, I can tell you. Alice grabbed my knee with her pliers (she changed again), harder than she’d intended, I suppose, though I didn’t let out a yip—I was too defensively frozen.

  * * * *

  The voice was talking a language I didn’t understand at all that went up and down the scale like atonal music.

  “Sounds like Chinese,” Pop whispered, giving me a nudge.

  “It is Chinese. Mandarin,” the screen responded instantly in the purest English—at least that was how I’d describe it. Practically Boston. “Who are you? And where is Grayl? Come in, Grayl.”

  I knew well enough who Grayl must be—or rather, have been. I looked at Pop and Alice. Pop grinned, maybe a mite feebly this time, I thought, and gave me a look as if to say, “You want to handle it?”

  I cleared my throat. Then, “We’ve taken over for Grayl,” I said to the screen.

  “Oh.” The screen hesitated, just barely. Then, “Do any of ‘you’ speak Mandarin?”

  I hardly bothered to look at Pop and Alice. “No,” I said.

  “Oh.” Again a tiny pause. “Is Grayl aboard the plane?”

  “No.” I said.

  “Oh. Incapacitated in some way, I suppose?”

  “Yes,” I said, grateful for the screen’s tactfulness, unintentional or not.

  “But you have taken over for him?” the screen pressed.

  “Yes,” I said, swallowing. I didn’t know what I was getting us into, things were moving too fast, but it seemed the merest sense to act cooperative.

  “I’m very glad of that,” the screen said with something in its tone that made me feel funny—I guess it was sincerity. Then it said,
“Is the—” and hesitated, and started again with “Are the blocks aboard?”

  I thought. Alice pointed at the stuff she dumped out of the other seat. I said. “There’s a box with a thousand or so one-inch underweight steel cubes in it. Like a child’s blocks, but with buttons in them. Alongside a box with a parachute.”

  “That’s what I mean,” the screen said and somehow, maybe because whoever was talking was trying to hide it, I caught a note of great relief.

  “Look,” the screen said, more rapidly now, “I don’t know how much you know, but we may have to work very fast. You aren’t going to be able to deliver the steel cubes to us directly. In fact you aren’t going to be able to land in Atlantic Highlands at all. We’re sieged in by planes and ground forces of Savannah Fortress. All our aircraft, such as haven’t been destroyed, are pinned down. You’re going to have to parachute the blocks to a point as near as possible to one of our ground parties that’s made a sortie. We’ll give you a signal. I hope it will be later—nearer here, that is—but it may be sooner. Do you know how to fight the plane you’re in? Operate its armament?”

  “No,” I said, wetting my lip.

  “Then that’s the first thing I’d best teach you. Anything you see in the haze from now on will be from Savannah. You must shoot it down.”

  CHAPTER 5

  And we are here as on a darkling plain

  Swept with confused alarms of struggle and flight,

  Where ignorant armies clash by night.

  —Dover Beach,

  by Matthew Arnold

  I am not going to try to describe point by point all that happened the next half hour because there was too much of it and it involved all three of us, sometimes doing different things at the same time, and although we were told a lot of things, we were seldom if ever told the why of them, and through it all was the constant impression that we were dealing with human beings (I almost left out the “human” and I’m still not absolutely sure whether I shouldn’t) of vastly greater scope—and probably intelligence too—than ourselves.

  And that was just the basic confusion, to give it a name. After a while the situation got more difficult, as I’ll try to tell in due course.

  * * * *

  To begin with, it was extremely weird to plunge from a rather leisurely confab about a fairy-tale fellowship of non-practicing murderers into a shooting war between a violet blob and a dark red puddle on a shadowy fluorescent map. The voice didn’t throw any great shining lights on this topic, because after the first—and perhaps unguarded—revelation, we learned little more of the war between Atla-Hi and Savannah Fortress and nothing of the reasons behind it. Presumably Savannah was the aggressor, reaching out north after the conquest of Birmingham, but even that was just a guess. It is hard to describe how shadowy it all felt to me; there were some minutes while my mind kept mixing up the whole thing with what I’d read long ago about the Civil War: Savannah was Lee, Atla-Hi was Grant, and we had been dropped spang into the middle of the second Battle of the Wilderness.

  Apparently the Savannah planes had some sort of needle ray as part of their armament—at any rate I was warned to watch out for “swinging lines in the haze, like straight strings of pink stars” and later told to aim at the sources of such lines. And naturally I guessed that the steel cubes must be some crucial weapon for Atla-Hi, or ammunition for a weapon, or parts for some essential instrument like a giant computer, but the voice ignored my questions on that point and didn’t fall into the couple of crude conversational traps I tried to set. We were to drop the cubes when told, that was all. Pop had the box of them closed again and rigged to the parachute—he took over that job because Alice and me were busy with other things when the instructions on that came through—and he was told how to open the door of the plane for the drop (you just held your hand steadily on a point beside the door), but, as I say, that was all.

  Naturally it occurred to me that once we had made the drop, Atla-Hi would have no more use for us and might simply let us be destroyed by Savannah or otherwise—perhaps want us to be destroyed—so that it might be wisest for us to refuse to make the drop when the signal came and hang onto those myriad steel cubes as our only bargaining point. Still, I could see no advantage to refusing before the signal came. I’d have liked to discuss the point with Alice and maybe Pop too, but apparently everything we said, even whispered, could be overheard by Atla-Hi. (We never did determine, incidentally, whether Atla-Hi could see into the cabin of the plane also. I don’t believe they could, though they sure had it bugged for sound.)

  All in all, we found out almost nothing about Atla-Hi. In fact, three witless germs traveling in a cabin in an iron filing wasn’t a bad description of us at all. As I often say of my deductive faculties—think—shmink! But Atla-Hi (always meaning, of course, the personality behind the voice from the screen) found out all it wanted about us—and apparently knew a good deal to start with. For one thing, they must have been tracking our plane for some time, because they guessed it was on automatic and that we could reverse its course but nothing else. Though they seemed under the impression that we could reverse its course to Los Alamos, not the cracking plant. Here obviously I did get a nugget of new data, though it was just about the only one. For a moment the voice from the screen got real unguarded—anxious as it asked, “Do you know if it is true that they have stopped dying at Los Alamos, or are they merely broadcasting that to cheer us up?”

  I answered, “Oh yes, they’re all fine,” to that, but I couldn’t have made it very convincing, because the next thing I knew the voice was getting me to admit that we’d only boarded the plane somewhere in the Central Deathlands. I even had to describe the cracking plant and freeway and gas tanks—I couldn’t think of a lie that mightn’t get us into as much trouble as the truth—and the voice said, “Oh, did Grayl stay there?” and I said, “Yes,” and braced myself to do some more admitting, or some heavy lying, as the inspiration took me.

  But the voice continued to skirt around the question of what exactly had happened to Grayl. I guess they knew well enough we’d bumped him off, but didn’t bring it up because they needed our cooperation—they were handling us like children or savages, you see.

  * * * *

  One pretty amazing point—Atla-Hi apparently knew something about Pop’s fairy-tale fellowship of non-practicing murderers, because when he had to speak up, while he was getting instructions on preparing the stuff for the drop, the voice said, “Excuse me, but you sound like one of those M. A. boys.”

  Murderers Anonymous, Pop had said some of their boys called their unorganized organization.

  “Yep, I am,” Pop admitted uncomfortably.

  “Well, a word of advice then, or perhaps I only mean gossip,” the screen said, for once getting on a side track. “Most of our people do not believe you are serious about it, although you may think that you are. Our skeptics (which includes all but a very few of us) split quite evenly between those who think that the M. A. spirit is a terminal psychotic illusion and those who believe it is an elaborate ruse in preparation for some concerted attack on cities by Deathlanders.”

  “Can’t say that I blame the either of them,” was Pop’s only comment. “I think I’m nuts myself and a murderer forever.” Alice glared at him for that admission, but it seemed to do us no damage. Pop really did seem out of his depth though during this part of our adventure, more out of his depth than even Alice and me—I mean, as if he could only really function in the Deathland with Deathlanders and wanted to get anything else over quickly.

  * * * *

  I think one reason Pop was that way was that he was feeling very intensely something I was feeling myself: a sort of sadness and bewilderment that beings as smart as the voice from the screen sounded should still be fighting wars. Murder, as you must know by now, I can understand and sympathize with deeply, but war?—no!

  Oh, I can understand cultural
queers fighting city squares and even get a kick out of it and whoop ’em on, but these Atla-Hi and Alamos folk seemed a different sort of cat altogether (though I’d only come to that point of view today)—the kind of cat that ought to have outgrown war or thought its way around it. Maybe Savannah Fortress had simply forced the war on them and they had to defend themselves. I hadn’t contacted any Savannans—they might be as blood-simple as the Porterites. Still, I don’t know that it’s always a good excuse that somebody else forced you into war. That sort of justification can keep on until the end of time. But who’s a germ to judge?

  A minute later I was feeling doubly like a germ and a very lowly one, because the situation had just got more difficult and depressing too—the thing had happened that I said I’d tell you about in due course.

  The voice was just repeating its instructions to Pop on making the drop, when it broke off of a sudden and a second voice came in, a deep voice with a sort of European accent (not Chinese, oddly)—not talking to us, I think, but to the first voice and overlooking or not caring that we could hear.

  “Also tell them,” the second voice said, “that we will blow them out of the sky the instant they stop obeying us! If they should hesitate to make the drop or if they should put a finger on the button that reverses their course, then—pouf! Such brutes understand only the language of force. Also warn them that the blocks are atomic grenades that will blow them out of the sky too if—”

  “Dr. Kovalsky, will you permit me to point out—” the first voice interrupted, getting as close to expressing irritation as I imagine it ever allowed itself to do. Then both voices cut off abruptly and the screen was silent for ten seconds or so. I guess the first voice thought it wasn’t nice for us to overhear Atla-Hi bickering with itself, even if the second voice didn’t give a damn (any more than a farmer would mind the pigs overhearing him squabble with his hired man; of course this guy seemed to overlook that we were killer-pigs, but there wasn’t anything we could do in that line just now except get burned up).